Today, My Dad Died
I learned this morning that my father passed away today. A cousin shared the news with my family, as my father was not an active part of my life and had not been for over 40 years, since I was a toddler.
For many, losing a parent, (especially one they have shared life with), comes with a deep and immediate emotional grief that can take a long time to heal. For me, this moment has prompted reflection rather than shock. I am sitting with the knowing that there will no longer be an opportunity to have a parent in my life who is proud of me, who offers comfort, or who serves as a source of positive energy.
At the same time, I am grateful to have reached this point in my life having achieved meaningful milestones that were not hindered by that absence. I was also blessed with an incredible maternal grandfather who filled that gap during my childhood, offering love, guidance, and presence when it mattered most.
During this holiday week, I find myself reflecting on what has been for me in this lifetime, and on the experiences and the people who helped usher me toward growth and prosperity. I accept and respect the role my father was meant to play in my life during this lifetime, even if it was limited.
I share this especially for young people navigating the world without parental support: know that you are your best gift.
Cultivate a life focused on what is meant for you. Give thanks for every person who extends grace and care along your journey. This is a road where strangers can become friends, and friends can become family.
Be grateful for each moment another human reminds you that you are not alone.
Sending warm wishes for a new year filled with self-reflection, renewal, and gratitude.
Your words remind me of attending my father’s wake with my older sister. He wasn’t in our lives yet we were informed of his death by his wife at the time. We decided to go to view him and experience what others would say about him. We never expected we’d be front and center in the ritual. We sat through it in awe of the hypocrisy around us. Not recognized during his life by his family but hearing our achievements sung in praise to him. A falsehood that led us to leave and wonder why we went. Years of reflection make me glad I attended for the short time I did. It gave me closure and no regrets. Your observations on your father’s death is the first time I’ve thought of my father in more than 40 years.